is "christian" a name worth wearing anymore?
or have we gotten it dirty and torn?
Christ has washed me clean, but can he clean this name?
Maybe that's up to us.
Monday, March 26, 2007
My Bed Looks So Good From Here
has anyone here done anything that makes them worth while?
we're just talking underwater, and the ocean swallows every word
as it leaves our lips, silencing us forever. and if we can't talk,
are we anything at all?
we're all just reaching out for something. what's strange is that for me, i stop wanting it once i get it. I like the chase. I like trying to earn something impossible, but it's always a let down once it's mine. but we're all reaching out, and we all want to be recognized in a crowd. we want to be important. we want to be loved. we don't care why or how or by whom. none of that matters. sometimes i think it's amazing the way we each pretend that we aren't totally selfish in everything we do. when was the last time we did something for anyone without some selfish motivation? when was the last time we loved someone for who they are, instead of for the love they give us in return? my question is: is that kind of love really love at all? or is it just using someone for their heart. i just want something to make me believe again; make me believe in everything that motivated me to be someone worthy of the life i've been given. i want to hear those sounds that give me chills down to my core. i want to see and taste and feel something deserving of and destined for greatness.
because that's the only way i can get it back. my hands have been idle for far too long. and every night i go to bed and wake up later, and older, and closer to the end... and i just don't care. and i need to get it back.
we're just talking underwater, and the ocean swallows every word
as it leaves our lips, silencing us forever. and if we can't talk,
are we anything at all?
we're all just reaching out for something. what's strange is that for me, i stop wanting it once i get it. I like the chase. I like trying to earn something impossible, but it's always a let down once it's mine. but we're all reaching out, and we all want to be recognized in a crowd. we want to be important. we want to be loved. we don't care why or how or by whom. none of that matters. sometimes i think it's amazing the way we each pretend that we aren't totally selfish in everything we do. when was the last time we did something for anyone without some selfish motivation? when was the last time we loved someone for who they are, instead of for the love they give us in return? my question is: is that kind of love really love at all? or is it just using someone for their heart. i just want something to make me believe again; make me believe in everything that motivated me to be someone worthy of the life i've been given. i want to hear those sounds that give me chills down to my core. i want to see and taste and feel something deserving of and destined for greatness.
because that's the only way i can get it back. my hands have been idle for far too long. and every night i go to bed and wake up later, and older, and closer to the end... and i just don't care. and i need to get it back.
thoughts on "Pay It Forward"
come up with an idea to change your world.
and put it into action!
there's obviously something profound about the movie, but while i definitely agree with the pay it forward concept, i was also thinking about the assignment in and of itself.
trevor, on three or four occasions, struggles with the question, "is the world just shit?"
in the end, we find that the answer is no. the world isn't shit, it's beautiful because of all the beautiful people in it. regardless of our imperfections, regardless of all the the terrible things we do to hurt each other, we make this life what it is; we make it worth living for.
in light of that, take not just the assignment of "paying it forward" into consideration in your own life (if you haven't seen the movie, then you don't know exactly what i'm talking about, so if you care, go rent it), but also, come up with your own unique way to change the world. share it with others, so they can emulate it, and then put it into action. this is the basic duty of christians, and this is the basic duty of mankind. we have minds. even in using the smallest percentage of our brains, we are capable of unimaginable things.
a friend of mine told me that, when he used to have more money, he'd sometimes get out an extra twenty from the atm, and when he got fast food, he'd tell the clerk that he wanted to pay for the person behind him too. I think that's pretty cool. there's no way that person can thank you, or even know who you are; you aren't doing it for any selfish reason, it's just a nice thing to do.
also, never underestimate the power of friendship. alot of times, christians especially, we assume we have to do something tangible. people don't always want money, or some trinket. nobody ever decides they don't want friends.
i don't know. my random thoughts after our bible study tonight.
and put it into action!
there's obviously something profound about the movie, but while i definitely agree with the pay it forward concept, i was also thinking about the assignment in and of itself.
trevor, on three or four occasions, struggles with the question, "is the world just shit?"
in the end, we find that the answer is no. the world isn't shit, it's beautiful because of all the beautiful people in it. regardless of our imperfections, regardless of all the the terrible things we do to hurt each other, we make this life what it is; we make it worth living for.
in light of that, take not just the assignment of "paying it forward" into consideration in your own life (if you haven't seen the movie, then you don't know exactly what i'm talking about, so if you care, go rent it), but also, come up with your own unique way to change the world. share it with others, so they can emulate it, and then put it into action. this is the basic duty of christians, and this is the basic duty of mankind. we have minds. even in using the smallest percentage of our brains, we are capable of unimaginable things.
a friend of mine told me that, when he used to have more money, he'd sometimes get out an extra twenty from the atm, and when he got fast food, he'd tell the clerk that he wanted to pay for the person behind him too. I think that's pretty cool. there's no way that person can thank you, or even know who you are; you aren't doing it for any selfish reason, it's just a nice thing to do.
also, never underestimate the power of friendship. alot of times, christians especially, we assume we have to do something tangible. people don't always want money, or some trinket. nobody ever decides they don't want friends.
i don't know. my random thoughts after our bible study tonight.
would you rather...
...have poop foot or sausage fingers?
...be superman (able to fly) or aquaman (have gills)?
...be a member of the opposite sex or an insect of your choice?
...run across a bridge of crocodiles, or headbutt a bee hive?
...recieve a paper cut on your anus, or your front whatever?
...have your ankle hit with a sledgehammer by someone you didn't know, or hit your best friend's ankle with a sledgehammer?
...have perfect pitch or perfect rhythm?
...be a fruit or a vegetable?
...eat your own crap or someone else's?
...vomit or squirt milk out of your nose?
...live in a fart box or a B.O. sphere?
...be convicted of a murder you didn't do or murder and get away with it?
...play patty cake with a bear or tea-time with a hippo?
...lose an eye or both hands?
...have scales instead of skin, or feathers?
...consume rotten milk or molded bread?
...consume bleach or get hit in the head with a brick three times?
...get shot in the face with a bee bee gun point blank, or shot in the foot by a real gun from far away?
...have no lips or no eye lids?
...be superman (able to fly) or aquaman (have gills)?
...be a member of the opposite sex or an insect of your choice?
...run across a bridge of crocodiles, or headbutt a bee hive?
...recieve a paper cut on your anus, or your front whatever?
...have your ankle hit with a sledgehammer by someone you didn't know, or hit your best friend's ankle with a sledgehammer?
...have perfect pitch or perfect rhythm?
...be a fruit or a vegetable?
...eat your own crap or someone else's?
...vomit or squirt milk out of your nose?
...live in a fart box or a B.O. sphere?
...be convicted of a murder you didn't do or murder and get away with it?
...play patty cake with a bear or tea-time with a hippo?
...lose an eye or both hands?
...have scales instead of skin, or feathers?
...consume rotten milk or molded bread?
...consume bleach or get hit in the head with a brick three times?
...get shot in the face with a bee bee gun point blank, or shot in the foot by a real gun from far away?
...have no lips or no eye lids?
Lyrics I really like...
All your tears are not going to wash this one away.
-Misery Signals "Murder"
what new mystery is this?
what blessed backwardness??
the Immeasurable One is held and does not resist!
struck by wicked words and foolish fists of senseless men
the Almighty One does not defend!
-mewithoutYou "A Glass Can Only Spill What It Contains"
Preacher lost his son
It's known by all in town
He found him with another son of God
Feeding on that prayer
Never mind what God said
But love had lost its cause
And I thought today had been ok
Today has been ok
Today has been ok
-Emilliana Torrini "Today Has Been Okay"
I kiss the mud and the leaves and the trees embrace me
with the mountains lying down at the sea I would sleep
Don't be afraid.
-Codeseven "All The Best Dreams"
I have called you children, I have called you son.
What is there to answer if I'm the only one?
Morning comes in Paradise, morning comes in light.
Still I must obey, still I must invite.
If there's anything to say, if there's anything to do,
If there's any other way, I'll do anything for you.
-Sufjan Stevens "For The Widows In Paradise; For The Fatherless In Ypsilanti"
What more do you want from me?
Some sort of apology?
Well I can promise you that
forgiveness is the most you'll get.
-Coalesce "You Can't Kill Us All"
We will fight for you
And show you we care for everything
That matters to you
Promises held
Must have been lost or forgiven
Or buried under the broken glass
Beneath your window of opportunity
We will be the first to die
And we will be the first to win
Your walls will fall down
We'll tear down your walls
-Beloved "Insult to Injury"
Iron out the wrinkles of your soul
and darn out the holes in your head
I carry my love for you in a thimble
and I sew back the seams of my love
in your heart with a rusty needle and thread
I should have been gone long ago
'cause you're done
now I look in your eyes
like I stare at the sun
I think it's gonna give me a heart attack
you're acting like a broken record
skipping every track
-Codeseven "Roped And Tied"
When I am dead
Lay me in a mound.
Raise a stone for all to see.
Runes come to my memory.
-Amon Amarth "Runes To My Memory"
Love is destructive
For the ego
And your voice is the only thing
That speaks rebelliously in this world of claiming your own
There is no peace outside if there's nothing within
Love is addictive
For the spirit
And your voice whispers with a roar
That fire rises up, refills
Place the right king on the throne
-Blindside "About A Burning Fire"
I hope you know I tried to find those pictures Jordo
Of us that night in Detroit with The Preshure Point
And I now feel the need to fly
And I now feel the need to hide inside your loving arms
Man i swear I'd give the whole things up for you
-Misery Signals "The Year Summer Ended In June"
There's a light up ahead.
-Further Seems Forever "Light Up Ahead"
These are my friends. This is who they have been for always.
These are my days. This is how they stay.
This is who they remain forever. This is how we stay.
-Say Anything "Yellow Cat/Red Cat"
This could be the end.
There is nothing left.
Drown all hope to mend human intellect.
Believe nothing will come from you.
Believe the good of man is through.
This era will fade.
We become the voice with nothing to say.
And we had no choice.
-Scarlet "Obsolete"
i dunno.
chew on it.
-Misery Signals "Murder"
what new mystery is this?
what blessed backwardness??
the Immeasurable One is held and does not resist!
struck by wicked words and foolish fists of senseless men
the Almighty One does not defend!
-mewithoutYou "A Glass Can Only Spill What It Contains"
Preacher lost his son
It's known by all in town
He found him with another son of God
Feeding on that prayer
Never mind what God said
But love had lost its cause
And I thought today had been ok
Today has been ok
Today has been ok
-Emilliana Torrini "Today Has Been Okay"
I kiss the mud and the leaves and the trees embrace me
with the mountains lying down at the sea I would sleep
Don't be afraid.
-Codeseven "All The Best Dreams"
I have called you children, I have called you son.
What is there to answer if I'm the only one?
Morning comes in Paradise, morning comes in light.
Still I must obey, still I must invite.
If there's anything to say, if there's anything to do,
If there's any other way, I'll do anything for you.
-Sufjan Stevens "For The Widows In Paradise; For The Fatherless In Ypsilanti"
What more do you want from me?
Some sort of apology?
Well I can promise you that
forgiveness is the most you'll get.
-Coalesce "You Can't Kill Us All"
We will fight for you
And show you we care for everything
That matters to you
Promises held
Must have been lost or forgiven
Or buried under the broken glass
Beneath your window of opportunity
We will be the first to die
And we will be the first to win
Your walls will fall down
We'll tear down your walls
-Beloved "Insult to Injury"
Iron out the wrinkles of your soul
and darn out the holes in your head
I carry my love for you in a thimble
and I sew back the seams of my love
in your heart with a rusty needle and thread
I should have been gone long ago
'cause you're done
now I look in your eyes
like I stare at the sun
I think it's gonna give me a heart attack
you're acting like a broken record
skipping every track
-Codeseven "Roped And Tied"
When I am dead
Lay me in a mound.
Raise a stone for all to see.
Runes come to my memory.
-Amon Amarth "Runes To My Memory"
Love is destructive
For the ego
And your voice is the only thing
That speaks rebelliously in this world of claiming your own
There is no peace outside if there's nothing within
Love is addictive
For the spirit
And your voice whispers with a roar
That fire rises up, refills
Place the right king on the throne
-Blindside "About A Burning Fire"
I hope you know I tried to find those pictures Jordo
Of us that night in Detroit with The Preshure Point
And I now feel the need to fly
And I now feel the need to hide inside your loving arms
Man i swear I'd give the whole things up for you
-Misery Signals "The Year Summer Ended In June"
There's a light up ahead.
-Further Seems Forever "Light Up Ahead"
These are my friends. This is who they have been for always.
These are my days. This is how they stay.
This is who they remain forever. This is how we stay.
-Say Anything "Yellow Cat/Red Cat"
This could be the end.
There is nothing left.
Drown all hope to mend human intellect.
Believe nothing will come from you.
Believe the good of man is through.
This era will fade.
We become the voice with nothing to say.
And we had no choice.
-Scarlet "Obsolete"
i dunno.
chew on it.
Something to think about...
we have got to learn to take care of each other.
porn stars
drug addicts
sex addicts
eating disorders
porn addicts
people who cut themselves
people who hate other people
people who hate themselves
alcoholics
rapists
cleptomaniacs
pedophiles
murderers
do you know how much love it would take
to fight all the hate that we project on these people?
when in reality, we're all just the same,
and if you're not one of these, then you're just
something else.
porn stars
drug addicts
sex addicts
eating disorders
porn addicts
people who cut themselves
people who hate other people
people who hate themselves
alcoholics
rapists
cleptomaniacs
pedophiles
murderers
do you know how much love it would take
to fight all the hate that we project on these people?
when in reality, we're all just the same,
and if you're not one of these, then you're just
something else.
A Song For A Friend
we were misunderstood.
we caught a path to the ocean floor
and took it, running like the wind.
and they all wondered like fools
with golden calfs on the safest shore,
and we were misunderstood.
your face was high up in the clouds,
and you tried so hard to prove
that there was something left of me.
and in the quiet i knew
a secret plain to me as day,
maybe i misunderstood.
i don't believe in fate
but i believe in God
and sure as hell believe in you.
and from a prison so deep,
"you can be anything that you wanted."
but something happened that year
that made the seasons change
and summer faded into fall.
and with that chilly orange breeze
we changed our songs and fell away
like raindrops caught up in the Flood.
we caught a path to the ocean floor
and took it, running like the wind.
and they all wondered like fools
with golden calfs on the safest shore,
and we were misunderstood.
your face was high up in the clouds,
and you tried so hard to prove
that there was something left of me.
and in the quiet i knew
a secret plain to me as day,
maybe i misunderstood.
i don't believe in fate
but i believe in God
and sure as hell believe in you.
and from a prison so deep,
"you can be anything that you wanted."
but something happened that year
that made the seasons change
and summer faded into fall.
and with that chilly orange breeze
we changed our songs and fell away
like raindrops caught up in the Flood.
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